It was torture.
I arrived at the venue a half an hour early. I figured I would be able to sit at the desk in the exam hall and review for a few minutes while I gained my bearings before the exam.
WRONG!
Instead, I spent 30 minutes sitting on the side-walk outside the school. Inside the campus, they had an entire garden, with benches right outside the test area; and we get the side-walk. It goes to show you that money can’t buy class.
Our “test center” was the school library. Finally at my desk, we were given the pre-SAT orientation; which was read to us from the “official SAT document” by a man with a very thick accent. Thankfully I had spent 2 years in an International school. Then the test began.
We were given 25 minutes to write an essay; I manged to whip up a “first draft” just in time to hear the moderator drone out “please put your pencils down”. It all happened so fast, I didn’t even get the pleasure of marveling over my beautifully hacked together piece of drivel. Hopefully it meets their criteria to get a decent grade.
We were allowed a 5 minute break to lick our wounds. I grabbed a croissant with thyme in it, and barely managed to cram it down my throat when the moderator came out to remind us that the 5 minutes are up. I really hate that guy.
From that point onward, 8:30am to 1:15pm, it was grueling exam after exam; playing the game of “color in the little circle”. I have never been in so much pain from sitting in all my life.
At about 12:00pm the test became one of wills; both my nose and my bladder were competing for my attention, one was running and the other was hell-bent on exploding at the very subtlest of body movements. By the last 3 test-papers I didn’t care what circles I colored in; I just wanted it to end.
The assistant moderator was kind enough to ask me if I needed an “emergency bathroom break” which would have entitled me a quick reprieve at the expense of losing time. A quick reminder from the moderator that I had “10 minutes left” jolted me back into reality, and I figured that another 15 minutes wouldn’t be so bad.
It was worse…
Time is such a paradox; I never knew it was possible for a moment to simultaneously speed by, and screech to a halt. From my bladder’s perspective I was moving at twice the velocity of light. From my mind’s perspective, I couldn’t keep up with the second-long “5 minute” intervals.
As soon as the test was over, I limped my way to the nearest stall and let nature take it’s course. They didn’t even have toilet paper; I swear that place is so ghetto.
So, here I sit an hour later; home and thankful. I am more sore from this exam than I have ever been from weight-lifting. Sitting on my ass for 5 hours straight is a real workout. Hopefully I’ll never have to take the SAT’s again.
I pray for a decent grade.
